Indian moms are some of the most unique creatures ever created. They are all expecting you to pass IIT and hate all your friends. If you have a bf/GF then you’re a bad child and don’t deserve aloo parathas. Sometimes they are rude to us, but we know that deep down they love us. Or do they? We’ll never know for sure and we don’t know how else to tell them that we’re all grown up. We’re not dependant on their support anymore and we know how to lead our lives well. Or do we? We’ll never know.
MOMM How do I deposit a cheque in the bank?
This is the first dialogue that every mother is born to deliver. She knows the perfect delivery, the time and the way to say it. She’s an expert at knowing when to say and when not to say Chuup, and she also knows all our weak points.
Inevitably, the next dialogue is always – “Tujhe Yeh Sikhaya Hai Maine?” indicating that there’s a communication problem.
#2 Beta Shaadi Karle
This is the best dialogue that every parent gives to their child. Marriage is the end goal for everyone in society and we’re all just taking part in a giant conspiracy. Jabh tak shaadi nahi hogi, tabh tak mukhe chain kaise aayega?
#3 Ghar pe Rehe
We can’t mom! There are so much pressure and expectations. It’s driving us crazy. We don’t want to become a carbon-copy of you, and we want to explore our own selves. That being said – Can you make chai for me?
#4 Maine Bure Karam Kiye Honge
This one is a regular, when there are exam pressures and when there’s no time to study. So when you’re walking around or trying to avoid school, she throws this dialogue at you. Like Neo, from The Matrix, you must dodge them till you can safely reach your room.
#5 Beta Ghar Kabh A Rahe Ho?
Why is it that every time you leave the house that you have to give her your entire itinerary for the day. She’s not going to approve half the things you do if they don’t involve studies and becoming a better student. Going for a movie – Beta padhai karle. Going for a date – Beta log kya kahenge?
Everything is a drama waiting to happen.
#6 Kisse Baat Karte Rehete Ho Tum?
Shaitaan se. Mai pooch rahi hu ki kabh utha loge mujhe. Dialouge maarna sabko aata hai, and it’s hilarious to see her reaction. Although slaps are the next logical step afterwards. Stress to hai hi hai, aur thappad toh lagne waala hai – might as well enjoy.
#7 Beta I also met your father in arranged marriage
This is a classic dialogue that all Indian moms like to say. Shaadi and arranged marriage. Only the parents can decide what happens to their kids because they also did it. Shaadi is needed when you’re single, and when you’re dating – he’s never good for you.
#8 Bartan Kaun Saaf Karega?
Child: The kitchen has to be clean because it will get dirty because it needs to be clean. See the problem with the logic there? You can’t wash Bartan thrice a day after every meal because you’ll go mad. Doing this for 360 days in a year means that you have done it almost 1100 times. If you take 10 mins per session then that’s 11000 minutes = 180 hours = 7 days. You’ve lost a week of your life doing Bartan.
Mom: Beta, if you only you had given this much attention to your math exams then you would have been in IIT washing your own Bartan.
#9 The only time she was right – “Paisa kya ped pe ugta hai?”
This was so true. We didn’t understand what the value of money was and we wanted the latest everything so that we could feel good. Only when we turn 27 do we realize ki yaar paisa kamana is tough job yaar. Thanks Mummy! ILU!